LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 19: (L to R) Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles and Niall Horan of One Direction attend The BRIT Awards 2014 at the 02 Arena on February 19, 2014 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Getty Images)

Always in our hearts Larry Stylinson . Yours sincerely , Larries

“If a rumor doesn’t go away; it’s not a rumor.” – Elton John

I am taking a descent here, but I feel that it’s necessary. The amount of doubt in this fandom is at an all time high and it hurts my heart to see so many people I love, who believed in love, beginning to doubt it.

I’ll start this by saying this is all my opinion, but I’m bringing in outside information to support it, and by saying that I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in big love, real love, true love…and the thing is, I stopped for a while, and Louis and Harry made me believe again.

When I first stumbled upon One direction it was because of a few best friends, and I was hooked immediately because of their sound and their talent, but also because of the love story that couldn’t be told with words. I was hooked because I saw similarly inked skin, heard painful lyrics about not being able to love freely, and saw two boys forced apart when they should have been stuck together.

One of the first songs I really got attached to on an emotional level was Something Great.  The song in its entirety is a lovely ode to finally getting it right with the person who has your heart; with deciding that love is worth it, love is enough.  The last part of the song though is what grabbed me by my heart strings and brought me to my knees.

“I want you here with me
Like how I pictured it
Is it too much to ask for something great?

You’re all I want
So much it’s hurting”

Not only is the line ‘you’re all I want, so much it’s hurting’ the most painfully honest one in the song, on the album.  It’s the way Louis’ voice sounds absolutely raw, untouched by any editing at all, and vulnerable.  It’s the way Louis is professing that he’s enveloped in someone so deeply that it’s painful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ozPfJTtAv0

I thought this was a very open show of wanting a love you may not be able to show the world, but in the same breath, knowing that it still belongs to you.  There is also part of me that thought this was about Larry because of another set of very obvious lyrics

“The script was written and I could not change a thing
I want to rip it all to shreds and start again.”

Perhaps this signifies a contract in which they knew they’d have to keep their love a secret, but for the sake of their band, their brothers, and their fans it’s a chance they were willing to take because they knew they were strong enough to embark upon the journey?  Perhaps it’s just a simple song lyric with no deeper meaning, but when I hear it, I think it’s significant.

So I did the only logical thing after I listened to that song and was introduced to Larry Stylinson, I spent HOURS and HOURS (no really, and hours and hours) on tumblr looking into Larry proof posts, videos, fan encounters, etc.  I got lost in it, it was better than the first time you watch The Notebook, or Titanic, or Love Actually.  It was better than the first time you hear a song on the radio and you get taken back to that stolen kiss on the playground.  It was better than any of that because right in front of you, there was proof and a lot of it, that love is real and it exists and two of the most lovely humans on the planet get to experience it together.

I remember going back and forth with my friends posting links and asking if they’d seen this video or that video or read this post or that one and I don’t really think I’ve stopped getting butterflies about it since.  That being said, I can and do, respect the opinions of people who don’t believe in Larry, who don’t believe in their love, and although I don’t understand it, I get that they do.  I know that not every person who loves One Direction, loves Larry.  I was given honest evidence of that when my best friend and I wore shirts to the concert in Indianapolis on July 31st that showed our love for Larry and we were looked at like we had the plague, I swear, it was intense.  I get that to many One Direction fans, Larries are looked at as delusional, crazy, the reason for tension between the boys; and it’s unfair, but it’s something we’re used to.

boyfriendshirts

So the Larries of the fandom deal with drama day in and day out, we’re hated, laughed at, the butt of jokes, but it’s okay because if you take a look with me, into other fandoms, we’re not alone…we’re not the only ones.

Elton John is a gay icon, many people who were fans of him from the beginning thought he was homosexual, but wait.  Elton John was married in 1984 to a woman named Renate Blauel.  4 years after their divorce Elton John married his long time boyfriend.  Now, fans of Elton who thought he was gay were ridiculed too, probably said to be crazy as well, but they just thought they saw in him something we believe to see in Louis and Harry.

Step back a little farther with me and we’ll discuss Rock Hudson, a 1950’s heartthrob who was married to a woman for three years, all the while, the elite of the elite in Hollywood KNEW he was gay but he had to try to hide it to the best of his ability in an attempt not to upset fans, not to ruin the image of being a straight Hollywood hunk.

Alan Cumming’s sexuality was always questioned as well, his movie roles not helping matters, but he was married to a woman for 8 years, which managed to help keep his sexuality hidden.  Once he divorced her he was open about being a bisexual and is now married to a man.

Little Richard was also married to a woman for 4 years even though he came out in 1995 saying he always knew he was gay.  He also performed in drag and wore make up (factors that do not point to sexuality but sometimes elude to it.)

So there are four very well known celebs, among many more, who have hidden their sexuality from the public eye in an effort to either keep their fans, or because they weren’t ready to come out yet.

Lance Bass gives a poignant look into what Hollywood thinks of gay pop stars in an open and honest interview he gave in February of this year.

“I was afraid to tell anyone mainly because of ‘N Sync. You know, if I told one person I knew someone would tell someone else and it would go around and the group would be over. The guys would hate me, and they would leave the group and be like ‘We’re not going to be in a group with a gay guy.'”

So here you have it, from the mouth of someone who was in the exact same situation Louis and Harry are in; even though Lance had a supportive group of friends beside him, he was scared of what coming out, telling his truth, would do them as a band and as a group of friends.

It’s sad, I am in tears thinking that you’re forced to sit in meetings where people who are in charge of your career tell you that who you are is wrong, that who you are would jeopardize not just your future, but the future of those around you.  It makes me sick that people can go to sleep at night knowing what they know and stopping it, but those people exist and they are after money and nothing gets to stand in their way.

This is what makes people who believe in Larry, not be so unfounded, not seem so crazy.  These things happen, have happened and will unfortunately, continue to happen when you’re trying too hard to sell the musicians and not the music.  It’s something you have to expect when people are more convinced that sex and scandal sell than lyrics, voices, instruments, and real heartfelt stories.  It’s disgusting, it’s vile, but the truth of the matter is; you can look away from a beautiful picture, but you can’t look away from a car crash.

I’ll humor for one second, that Briana is pregnant, with Louis’ kid, and I’ll do this only one time.  The stories of the people above show that you can go great lengths within yourself, and your business team can go great lengths to make you seem straight.  IF Briana is pregnant with Louis’ child, it doesn’t mean we were wrong about Larry, and it doesn’t mean they’re apart now…the story is so much deeper than that.

Moving forward, we can take the time to actually examine Harry and Louis, from the first day they saw each other they were hands on.  There are blurry (as the fandom calls them, Wellington quality) photos of the two of them together, close as all get out.  They seem to have worn the same sweater in their auditions as well, same color, same style, fit differently on them both and their closeness only grew from there.  You can go back and watch XFactor videos and see the way when good news happened, Louis and Harry would gravitate towards each other to celebrate.  You can see the bond they all share, but how it’s closer with the two of them, and one of the first videos that really show how emotional their connection was is the video where Harry talks about how he searched himself negatively on twitter to see responses, and Louis nearly cries talking about trying to help his friend.

Louis is the kind of person who is always there for his friends; always willing to help, but the care and concern he has for Harry has always been on a deeper level, there’s always been a pull between them that made him choose Harry first, choose Harry always.  Harry is critical to Louis’ happiness, and Louis for Harry’s.

I, like many other Larries, sat in front of my computer screen for hours watching old videos of the two of them, how they’d laugh and poke fun at each other, how they’d gravitate to each other during interviews, sitting close, sometimes ending up on one another’s lap.  It was impossible for the two of them to be in a room and not be the center of the other one’s focus.

If you pay close attention during times when they thought they couldn’t be seen, you see a very early sign of comfort between the two of them begin to form; the thumbs up.

Louis and Harry can be seen in many interviews like this, giving each other a thumbs up sign, or even better, touching each other with a thumb first.  It’s their way of saying they’re lovers, the two frequently joined their fists together and allowed the tips of their thumbs to touch.  You can look up on tumblr or google just how many instances there are of this happening, but it’s really important, and really special to the two of them.  These aren’t friendly gestures that say ‘hey you’re doing a great job’.  They’re gestures that say ‘hey, I can’t say it out loud, but I love you and you’re amazing’.  They say everything the boys can’t.

They learned ways other than sign language to communicate too; want proof of the biggest way?  Take a look at their bodies.

Louis and Harry are littered with tattoos, which is strange because when we first met Louis Tomlinson he was very against tattoos of his own, and now his skin tells a story.  They have been known to get tattoos that ‘go together’ or match, and to do so sometimes within hours of each other.

A popular response to any anti Larry comment in the fandom is “but Louis got the dagger”.  This specific tattoo came at a time when I think all the Larries, including Louis and Harry, needed a bit of a pick me up.  As soon as Harry got his rose tattoo we wondered how long it would be until Louis got the dagger; the day it happened, we lost it.  I don’t think any of us have really regained our chill either, but who can blame us, when your idols have sets upon sets of matching tattoos, and they seal it with a rose and dagger, are we expected to be anything less than off of our rockers?

matching tattoos tattoos

And while we’re talking about tattoos; my best friends and I got tattooed this summer together on the day of our One Direction concert and we asked the tattoo artists if he’d ever tattooed eyebrows on a bird.

His reply? “No, birds don’t have eye brows.”

So there you have some of their story, inked on their skin, saying I love you, I love you, this is hard, but I love you.  It says they can’t break us, even though they’ll try.  It says you and I are here, we’ve been here, and we’re always going to be here.  It says I loved you enough to use my body to explain just how much you mean to me.

Speaking only about Harry for a moment, because he’s always been the more obvious of the two, he’s given us some hints/clues into Larry Stylinson on his own.  From the way his instagram was only black and white until after Louis and Eleanor broke up (it still remains black and white sometimes but the color photos as of late can all be linked to Louis), to the leather bound journal that contains a quote on the front, simple, eloquent, telling. “Let us love.”  He’s also posted cryptic tweets, along with Louis, that quoted some of their favorite songs, movies they’ve watched together, or statements that let us know they were thinking of one another, or spending time together when they were on a break.  Sort of their way of saying you can make us hide, but our fans know us better, and while we can’t post a selfie together, I can post this, and they’ll know, we’ll know.

Louis and Harry also use their own song lyrics to let each other know, to let us know, that they’re doing okay.

Harry has changed lyrics to ‘just like HE already owned it’ which sounds silly, but in the grand scheme of things, it fits.  Louis changed lyrics to say ‘I can’t compete with MY boyfriend, he’s got 27 tattoos’, but perhaps one of the most meaningful lyric changes occurs in ‘Little Things’ and wasn’t a one time special, it happens, frequently, over and over again.

“I’m in love with Lou, and all his little things” is definitely not how the song was written, nor how it was practiced, by the look on Louis’ face.  He is a boy who is clearly taken back by the love of his life openly proclaiming his love for him, on stage, mid concert.

Way to make us all tear up Harry, I wasn’t prepared for that the first time it happened, or the hundredth.

They also serenade each other on stage, famously in Little Things, You & I, Night Changes, and most recently, 18.  Louis and Harry turn their entire bodies to one another, give sweet smiles and thumbs up, and shoot each other winks during these songs, and on more than one occasion.  It’s their way of saying, even on stage, where we aren’t allowed to interact, we will still find a way to show we love each other.

Have trouble believing they’d be told not interact on stage?

Thank Harry for this proof.

whisper

Now why would your management team want you to avoid your band mate, why would they want you to stay away from them if there wasn’t something to hide?

It’s not just on stage though, the boys have been kept apart on more than one occasion off stage too, they’ve spoken in interviews and you can hear members of their management team say “that’ll have to be cut out.”  It’s an ongoing fiasco, an ongoing attempt to keep them separated.

During this particular day, if you watch the video, you can hear the person in charge of them tell Harry and Louis that they can’t sit together.

It’s been said it’s because Louis and Harry were too comfortable with each other which is why they were forced apart.  It’s also been said that Modest was against them being gay; regardless of what you believe, then vs now, there are some differences, only in 2015 have we seen the boys even acknowledge that they’re in the same band again after almost 2 years of not doing so at all.  It remains though, the proof in the pudding.

Is it really such a bad thing to have found love in someone so young, is it really that bad to have found your soulmate residing in the body of a person with the same anatomy as you?  These are questions I’d ask Modest if I could, but their answer would only make us more upset.

The lovely thing about the two of them is that they didn’t let it stop them completely though, they know what they’re doing when they let things slide, they know what they’re doing when they get photographed like this:

make up proof

 

You know they saw a mirror before they went to the event, you know Harry saw Louis’ make up in his hair and Louis saw some remaining on his chin, and we know Harry is the little spoon and we laugh, and we smile, and we thank them, for their hidden reassurances.

 

I might kill a few of you here and I don’t mean to, you can @ me, I’ll turn on my location if you want to fight me about it, but here are some cute next to you moments that management didn’t find their way in the middle of.

*collectively sighs with the fandom and finds the nearest jar of cookie dough ice cream to cry into*

Louis and Harry, next to you, amazing.

 

Now look with me, if you will, at the Eleanor situation. I won’t talk bad about her, I believe she was doing a job, but there were multiple times when Harry and Eleanor had to be together where the discomfort in Harry couldn’t be hidden by a building.

He was asked in an interview what he thought about Louis and Eleanor and said he didn’t want to talk about it.  He was seen walking with them through the airport all but trying to get away.  He was seen walking out of a building with the two of them and as Louis took her hand he appeared to bury his face in his hands and cry.  He rolled his eyes when it was suggested that he introduced the two of them, and he was never his smiley goofy self when she was around.

Same could be said with the Taylor Swift stunt.  Louis looked miserable in any pap photo we got of him while they were together.  In an interview done the day before “Haylor” was made public Louis looked very uncomfortable, Liam comforted him more than once, and Louis said his favorite song was “I Loved You First” as he looked up to Harry with longing eyes.  Seriously, the boy was walking heartbreak while the stunt was going on, but the DAY Harry and Taylor broke up Louis was photographed smiling again, you can call a lot of things in life coinsidence, but not that.

Another thing that hints to Larry is how annoyed Louis got when Harry was labeled as a player, when he had the rep of using and going through women.  You could say that Louis was being the right kind of pal by being upset at those comments, and he was, but if you look back through the history of One Direction and you look at who Harry has ever truly admitted to dating, only one name will surface: Louis Tomlinson.  You won’t hear him confirming ANY other relationship; so wouldn’t you get upset if your boyfriend was labeled a player and you couldn’t do a thing about it?  Harry has also said Louis was his first real crush, and it was mutual; they discussed it.

One of my other favorite ‘proofs’ of Larry is Louis’ famous “some people genuinely think we’re in a relationship” moment.

Mid interview, Harry and Louis were asked about Larry, as they had been before and instead of taking the moment to say ‘you know what, it’s cute that the fans love us together, but it’s just not true, we’re straight, or we’re not in love with each other’, like most people would have done, Louis instead replies like this:

“Some people genuinely think we’re in a relationship; they genuinely think” before biting Harry’s back.

It gets better.

Liam then replies “Well you are, aren’t you?”

Bless.

So in the years that One Direction has been together; we’ve never received a denial from either of the boys, the closest thing we got was an “I am in fact straight.” tweet from @Louis_Tomlinson who is a different person entirely than Louis Tomlinson.

Funny that.

Now I know 2015 was supposed to be the year of Larry, we had a timeline given to us at the end of 2014 that spelled out a lovely year of events between the boys that ended in a coming out.  We also know that while that time frame was followed up through July, it’s been a really hard year for the fandom too.  Zayn left, which threw a wrench into the coming out process for the boys (at least that’s a popular opinion) and now we have solo Zayn news and Babygate.  I’ll touch on that again for a moment to say I think Babygate was planned because Zayn was going to make his solo music announcement and there had to be some focus kept on One Direction, for some reason 1DHQ has seen us do a fan release of No Control, get Drag Me Down to number 1 in under an hour but they still can’t grasp that if they’d let go of the scandal and just let the music speak for the boys that they’d still be on top of the world.

I also want to say that it’s still my firm opinion that Babygate is going to fall apart, and soon.  Yesterday the fandom was greeted with Briana having a miscarriage articles; today we’re given photos of her and a “baby bump” which I still haven’t seen and I looked at those photos for 5 minutes.  I look more pregnant than Briana and that’s because I had a Stella yesterday, but alas, this is an article to revive hope, not diminish it.

The truth of the matter is, every love story is gonna hit a bump in the road, a snag, there are going to be beautiful highs and dramatic lows and only the strong survive, but look back at the last 5 years, have Harry or Louis ever given us a reason to believe that they were anything but strong?  Anything but fierce?  Anything but 100% able to overcome this, no matter how much it hurts?

Louis and Harry are in a career field where being different is frowned upon and although that’s changing, it’s not yet completed, they’re in a career path where there have been strides made in acceptance, but the bottom dollar still says that in demand musicians are straight and single.

Louis and Harry are the people who survive this though, they’re the couple who get through it.  Louis and Harry are the two who look back on this time of their lives and by the time they’re 30 they know they’ve already suffered through the darkest days in their love story, they’ve already hit the lows.

You have to remember at times like this that the Louis and Harry we see are only versions of who they are, you have to remember that regardless of what happens with the baby, what happens with the future of the band, that Harry and Louis belong to one another.

Join me in creating a scenario for a moment, close your eyes and go here with me:

Louis and Harry have a few days off so they go to one of their homes together, or maybe one of their lofts and Louis is soft, he’s so soft and he’s in grey sweat pants and one of their boyfriend shirts and Harry is walking around without a shirt on at all and a pair of Louis’ joggers which fit a big snug but Louis likes the way that they look.  Harry cooks them lunch and tries to sneak in kale but Louis can taste it the second he brings the fork to his mouth so Harry just smiles as Louis frowns at the dish in front of him and brings a pizza out of the oven and Louis smiles like a kid on Christmas as Harry brings him his meal and they probably get lost in each other’s eyes and Louis has pizza sauce on his lip so Harry leans over to kiss it away and things get a little heated until Harry clears his throat and shakes his head and sits back down on the stool so he can finish eating.  They spend the rest of their day lost in one another, kissing slowly until they’re out of breath because they don’t have to hide, not at home, and Louis falls asleep in Harry’s arms because when they’re on the sofa Harry lets Louis be little spoon, and he smiles at the way Louis exists, for no other reason than that Louis was made for him.

Louis was made for Harry as Harry was made for Louis.

And there’s no greater love story than that.

BOYF

 

Written by Ashley

Writer, coffee drinker, mother.