Yesterday, Australian singer Troye Sivan officially released what he calls one of his most personal songs on Blue Neighbourhood, “Heaven”, featuring Betty Who on his YouTube channel in honor of it being his new single.
In celebration of the single, he performed the single on The Ellen DeGeneres Show for the first time on television today, October 18th. Unlike his other songs off of the album that got radio airplay, such as “Youth” and “Wild”, “Heaven” is a touching ballad with an even deeper meaning to Troye’s heart. The song co-written by Jack Antonoff, Alex Hope, and Claire Boucher is actually about Troye’s battle with religion and homosexuality
Back in November of 2015, Troye released a teaser of “Heaven” on his YouTube channel explaining how difficult it was coming out at 14-years old. In the video he says, “The hardest person to come out to, for me, was myself.”
“When I first started to realize that I might be gay, I had to ask myself all of these questions, these really really terrifying questions,” said Troye. “You know, ‘Am I ever gonna find someone?’ ‘Am I ever gonna be able to have a family?’ ‘If there is a God, does that God hate me?’ ‘If there is a heaven, am I ever gonna make it to heaven?”
He continued saying, “And those were all really really scary questions for a 14-year old. And then throughout the process I started to kind of build this self confidence and this self worth. And I realized, ‘Yeah I am gay.’ Eventually I got to the point where I was like okay well if there is a heaven but I can’t be myself up there, then maybe I don’t want heaven.”
While watching him sing lyrics such as, “The truth runs wild / Like a tear down a cheek” and “Without losing a piece of me / How do I get to heaven? / Without changing a part of me / How do I get to heaven?”, you can feel exactly what he’s saying, especially when you know the true meaning behind the song.
So thank you Troye, for being so honest with yourself and your fans.
Check out his performance of “Heaven” on The Ellen DeGeneres Show below:
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