Singer Liam Payne from the band One Direction attends the world premiere of the film "The Class of 92" in London December 1, 2013. REUTERS/Neil Hall (BRITAIN - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT) - RTX160D0

We’re all human, that includes Liam Payne

Liam Payne made a statement at the Columbus show tonight that had a fandom almost split in two.  There were people who jumped to his defense and people who openly attacked him.

“This song is about finding the girl of your dreams, which most of you can’t relate to because you’re girls.”

Liam, made a statement, in a moment without thinking.  He didn’t say that every girl in the audience was straight, he didn’t say that there was anything wrong with liking a girl if you are one.  He didn’t make a homophobic statement, he did make a statement that didn’t sit well with the fans.  I can see why, he made a generalization and that is something we don’t want to do.  It’s not something that people like hearing because generalizations are usually framed in stereotypes and no one likes feeling stereotyped.

However, I want you all for  a second, to sit with me, and try to see this on level ground.

People make mistakes.

We are all human.

The lovely thing about being human, is the ability to make mistakes and grow from them.  The thing about mistakes are, that they’re the building blocks for how we learn, and how we do better in the future.

There are always going to be people who don’t have their best foot forward and have evil in their hearts, unfortunately this is never going to change.  I think sometimes we have our guards up so high that we automatically take something said in a moment without thought behind it, or something said not meant to be harmful and feel attacked by it.

It is okay to feel hurt by something, and not hate the person behind it.  It is okay to feel wronged by a statement and still remember the person who made it isn’t evil.

Tonight I’m jumping to Liam’s defense because I truly don’t think he meant harm by what he said.  I know this because I’ve made statements I regret later, but in the moment, I just said it and it came out and it didn’t really hit me until later how it could have made someone else feel.  I am also understanding the people who were offended by what he said, because I get it, and I know how it feels when someone you respect hurts you by something that they say.

When you’re at home behind a computer it’s easy to put thought into what you’re going to say, when you’re in front of a crowd of people and you’ve got seconds to form a thought, sometimes the wrong thing comes out.

Liam has taken to twitter and said he didn’t mean any harm by what he said, he also asked us to relax a little, and I think he might be right.

It’s never okay to make someone feel small for their feelings, reactions, or emotions, but it’s also not right to make someone feel terrible for one mistake.

With so many people in this world feeling like they don’t belong because of their sexuality, how they identify as a gender, or issues like heteronormativity it’s time to really evaluate what we say and how we set out to make others feel.  It’s also important to know that while some people may try to make you feel smaller or like less of a person for not fitting a mold, not everyone who makes a statement that’s “wrong” is out to hurt you, sometimes, they just don’t give it enough thought.

If you slip up and make a mistake, you slip up and make a mistake, problematic behavior is behavior that continues to be ignorant even while knowing better.

Love and light…we need more of it ladies and gentlemen, we need more of it in the 1D fandom, and we need more of it in general.

There is so much negativity, so much hate, so much trying to tear us apart from the inside out.

Let’s allow love and acceptance and understanding to fill the places where the scar tissue can be found.  Let’s realize that we’ve all said and done things we shouldn’t have, and let’s all remember that even though we’re confident in what’s right and what’s wrong, we’re still growing up…we’re going to make mistakes, all of us.

Think about how you’d want to be treated if you made a mistake, and try to give that understanding back to Liam, or to the next person in your day to day life that does something or says something that isn’t exactly what it should be.

You can’t drive out darkness with more darkness, you can only do that with light.

You can’t ask people to be better if you only focus on their wrongs; you can’t expect them to grow if you only showcase how they’ve failed.

Liam has taken to twitter and in his confusion tweeted his feelings, and an apology, to the fans.

Let’s remember that he’s the same guy we all know and love, he just made a mistake.  It doesn’t change his entire persona, and he’ll probably think twice in the future.

Liam, we’re all on the journey that is life, you’re gonna make friends and enemies but as long as you keep a good heart and a good spirit, your light will shine through no matter what you’re up against.

That goes to everyone.  We can all shine after we’ve made mistakes, we can all continue to grow after we’ve stunted ourselves.

 

Written by Ashley

Writer, coffee drinker, mother.