Afraid to Feel

From a young age women are encouraged to illustrate their emotions. By exploiting feelings of affection, sensitivity and empathy from cuddling dolls, to tending to sick teddies and kissing our mothers goodnight, we are all victims of the set attributes of femininity. Therefore, it is not surprising that young women mature to become the complete opposite.

As young adults we begin to notice the shift between caring and neglect and emotion and indifference and this contrast is defined through success. Women observe men in successful platforms as domineering and fruitful with no flinch of emotion and this examination motivates women to incorporate and model the same behaviour to gain success. From this theory women adopt the understanding that being nice gets you nowhere, therefore masking their true feelings under a cloak of apathy. Are we the generation afraid to feel?

They say there is a fine line between love and hate but can we distinguish between our feelings nowadays? Living in a generation where it is considered weak to express how you feel towards your eye candy is a major pitfall. Especially when you observe beautiful yet terrifying young women with reckless and emotionless personalities sweeping boys off their feet. For example, Effy Stonem from the popular TV program Skins is portrayed as intimidating, totally independent and attractive to everyone around her. Every girl would love to be her. However, this characterisation would only work in an ideal world, realistically Effy would be regarded as a ‘stuck –up bitch’ and boy’s would most likely hate her. Yet we are still inspired to disguise our true emotions in an effort to display a disposition full of mystery to attract men through this seemingly successful game plan.

Even pop songs nowadays like to implement the idea that boys like mysterious girls with an attitude. In the number one hit ‘ Blank Space’ Taylor Swift sings ‘You’ll come back each time you leave, cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.’ The lyrics emphasize the false idea that women with a fearsome attitude are irresistible to men. Although both Skins and Blank Space should not be taken literally you can’t help but think to yourself, why reinforce self-depreciation and camouflage your inner feelings for a man? Women should be presenting their true feelings with confidence without fear of being judged or criticized. The media should be playing on influential women to implement the idea that men should adore you for who you are, not who you think you should be, especially when it comes to love.

The media plays a dominating role in each and every single person’s life. The most famous individuals are spread across every TV channel, magazine and radio to coax your thoughts and influence your habits. Successful women are often portrayed through the media as fierce and authoritarian, encouraging young women to pack their weary emotions away in their rucksack and endeavour on their own tenacious journey to the land of success.

Beyoncé Knowles is regarded as one of the most influential women in the world due to her inspiration to empower women. Oozing confidence, Beyoncé’s talents don’t only revert to entertainer but also businesswoman. Preaching female empowerment, Queen B encourages women to be strong, financially independent and to go out and get what they want. Although such advice may seem extremely inspiring young women do not own the same overpowering assurance that Beyoncé possesses. The lack of confidence within young women is extremely worrying, we idolize successful women such as Beyoncé and Cara Delevingne with their fearsome attitudes not to mention perfect appearance and we shudder in own inferior skin.

Should we really be idolizing such individuals? On one hand they influence us to adopt a persona full of determination and courage and on the other hand make us feel as though this goal will forever be out of reach, as we don’t actually fit this character. Young women should be empowered within their self; there is no need for perfect celebrities to cheer empowerment for women, as empowerment comes within.




Written by CelebMix