“I can be reborn without having to hide from my previous form,” Lou Bliss confides in CelebMix as she prepares to release her first music in five years.
A lot has happened since the Swindon-born star first arrived in 2019 and, armed with a vault of ambitious alt-pop material, there’s a feeling that we are on the verge of witnessing the singer’s true debut.
Bliss shot to prominence after a series of covers online went viral, championed by the likes of Ariana Grande, Sia and Benny Blanco. Gaining hundreds of thousands of followers, a record deal and two singles followed before the rising star disappeared. The 20-year-old is now ready to tell her story – and it starts with her coming out as a transgender woman.
“I knew from the moment I was born that I was a girl,” Lou shares. “I remember being five years old and going to bed, thinking I’d wake up as a girl and it would all be a silly mistake.
“I continued to know that and experience gender dysphoria. I just didn’t have the tools until I left school and started to play with make-up and the way I looked. I realised it was something I couldn’t run from.
“There wasn’t necessarily one turning point. I remember saying to a friend and reaching out to a manager when I was 16, that was when it clicked, I couldn’t do it anymore.”
That moment came when the singer’s profile was at its highest yet. Bliss featured alongside the pioneering late SOPHIE to be named as a decade-defining musician by British Vogue and saw two grungy pop singles rack up tens of millions of streams.
“I have such a bad memory of the moment it all happened,” Lou admits when asked if there was one singular point when she realised stardom had come calling.
“After everything that’s happened over the years, I don’t have the most vivid memory. I remember thinking, wow I don’t deserve this, this is insane.
“It definitely got to my head. Growing up not having much attention to having the world at my feet terrified me. I had such bad imposter syndrome, it’s hard to process.
“I was so happy but so confused and so naive. I was just 14 years old.”
It’s a head-spinning story that unravels as Bliss pieces together the catapult into the spotlight. Within days of videos gaining popularity, almost every major record label had been in touch, leaving the teenager’s auntie piecing together a DIY spreadsheet to analyse the pros and cons of each offer.
The songs that followed, ‘Sick Thoughts’ and ‘Killing Butterflies’, were trendy hits packaged with carefully thought-out edge. It’s a far cry from the music Bliss shares with CelebMix now and she admits that, even at that age, she knew it wasn’t true to her core.
“I loved them because everyone else loved them, not because Lou Bliss did,” she says. “They are still special to me and I enjoyed the process but, looking back, those are probably quite inauthentic songs.
“I did think about taking them off streaming but the numbers are unfathomable and I know those records have resonated with so many people and I don’t want to take that away from them.”
There are moments of the EDM influence of those songs faintly present in Bliss’ new single ‘Unregulated’. A daring, four-minute statement piece, it’s a remarkable comeback effort.
Behind the song’s twisting production and soaring vocals is the story of Bliss’ hiatus. During those five years away from the internet’s prying eyes, Bliss sought help for serious mental health conditions and had to come to terms with her mother suffering a life-changing brain injury.
“I had to go away and make sense of those things,” Bliss emotionally admits. “I lost my mind. I experienced something called trauma-induced psychosis which means I was seeing and hearing things that weren’t there. I became very unwell and my platform was taken away from me.”
While there’s an echo of hope through ‘Unregulated’, the track is laced with darker moments. The single is at its most captivating when it draws to a close, echos of “I’m losing it again” are followed by the image of a boat setting sail across a dark lake – the cinematic ending spilling out of the songwriter at her lowest ebb.
“I definitely attach more of a positive connotation to that line now,” Lou shared. “It’s like ending the song free of the cage I was in for so many years.
“I’m working towards healing and growing in myself, knowing I have certain mental health symptoms and living the best life I can. It’s easy to think that’s unattainable some days but I wrote ‘Unregulated’ at a time I believed it was impossible.”
When asked to name any influences, it’s a long list of artists that pours from Lou. From pop icons in Ariana Grande and Billie Eilish to British rock ‘n roll heroes The Clash, there’s also love for Amy Winehouse and Nina Simone. The singer, who is currently studying vocal performance at Bristol, is surrounded by music and soaking it up.
“When I started uni, I didn’t tell anybody about everything before,” Lou reveals. “I look very different so no one would have registered anyway… and it’s not like I was Elton John!
“It was so freeing, especially not being on social media. It was real-life validation. If people wanted to work with me it was because they really wanted to and not that they were infatuated by the number of followers I have or views I’ve garnered.”
In the conversation, Bliss can’t help but keep returning to two inspirations at the forefront of her mind – Lana Del Rey and David Bowie. It’s easy to understand why too, ‘Unregulated’ intertwines the former’s snaking lyricism with the latter’s vocal trickery.
Getting into the intricacies of ‘Unregulated’, the singer is eager to talk in detail about her determination to push her boundaries in the studio – she speaks of singing from her low larynx in the deep plunge of the chorus, a move born from another challenge faced in recent times. The production curveball is striking.
“I suffered trauma to my vocal cords in June last year,” Bliss said, explaining that her voice is still on a journey to recovery. “Having rebuilt my voice after male puberty and getting to a place where I felt more comfortable, this was the worst thing that could possibly happen. It was terribly difficult to experience that again.”
There’s no doubt that listening to ‘Unregulated’ will leave followers wanting more. With time, that will come, the star’s story of difficult teenage years is set to unfold in a two-part album. The record will first confront her recent past and self-destruction with a rockier edge before moving into the jazz-influenced ballads of what her future may be.
In everything she says, there’s a whole lot of charm to the songstress’ ambition and the candour with which she confronts her past. On, ‘Unregulated’ Lou Bliss eases the door open to the world and it’s impossible not to step inside.
‘Unregulated’ is released on Friday, June 7.